Relationships Matter... Take the Time

Hello from my new life.

I have become so use to life here that it almost feels taboo to be writing a blog, because I do not normally do it.

It takes a village to raise a child, and I have a large village at home in the United States that raised me. But it is really my homestay family and the neighborhood I’m in here in Ghana that helped me realize more about myself. 

FAMILY

I had the opportunity to go on a long walk with my brother Kofi, and my little brother Papa. During this walk, I got to see the hospitals where the doctors work and live, and I learned about all the different trees and plants where the natural resources grow. On this walk, I also had to pick up a snail that was the size of my head!

I call my homestay mom my sister, because she is very young and I talk to her like a talk a sister. She is pregnant with her second child, and deeply wishes for a girl. Sister is such a hard worker! She would be cooking everything from scratch, taking care of my little 2 year old brother, doing laundry (by hand), and cleaning the house all at the same time. Here I thought that my biological mother was the only wonder woman on earth, but it turns out there are two.

My brother Kofi is my homestay father, who is also very young. He wants to become a famous artist in R&B, or as it is known here, High Life. He shows me a lot about the culture here and really tries to make sure that I experience Ghanaian life.

Papa, my two-year-old brother, had malaria, and I got to take him to the doctor. My sister has dubbed him “Professor in Crying”, because he cannot go even a few minutes without crying. Sometimes, that is my wakeup call at 5 am. Despite the crying, he is very sweet, and makes my day when he curls up in bed to wake me, or gives me energy while playing futbal, which is allowed in the house. 

On Saturday the 29^th, I had to say goodbye to my roommate, Megan. I realized how much a person can influence your life in only 4 weeks, as she showed me how two people can truly care about each other. I can now say that I have a new sister to talk to and visit in Iowa.  

My family has a lot of friends that have little kids who come over to play, and I learned a new style of jump rope. It’s where two people loosely tie a rope around them to form a circle, with a little space between them. I learned songs in Fante that you sing while you jump over the rope for a few hours. The kids also taught me some of the Ghanaian dances that they learn in school. I am very grateful that I get to live in the neighborhood that I do, walking up the hill.

LEARNING

RIGHT/LEFT: Here a huge thing that I have not mentioned yet is that one must ALWAYS use their right hand to be respectful. If you are buying something, handing something to another person, eating, or anything, you must use your right hand. This is respectful, because you handle your items with your right and wipe your business with your left. Never wanting to be disrespectful, I had to learn and adapt to this very quickly.

TIME: Time is really an artificial construct, and it does not really exist here the way it does in America. In Ghana, there is only GMT (Ghanian Man Time), and everyone needs to be flexible while they are here. This laid back time works really well for me, but creates some interesting situations for those who need to always have the plan followed. My only concern is coming back to America and still thinking that I am on GMT. I had many of the interns and everyone in the office take the Myers Briggs test, and I thank the Leadership Camp and Steely Pegg for inspiring me to learn about the strengths and weaknesses of the people that I work with so that we can work well together. Interestingly enough, many people whom I work with that are J’s for judgment, which makes it interesting for me as a P (perceiver).

GMT stems from the strength and importance of relationships here. One would forgo being somewhere on time in order to catch up with an old friend, or even someone they are simply passing by. Time here seems to go by so slowly, but in a peaceful way. The other day, I just stopped to watch a bird eat a worm, which I can’t say I have ever done before. I also watched a group of 10 children playing together as they tried to blow a rubber duck from one end of a puddle to the other. This is also reflected in a certain ring-back tone, which says in little girl’s voice, “Look up at the sky. Big, beautiful, Ghana sky. Take a deep breath… and enjoy yourself. Take the time to call a friend.”

Language: Learning Fante is always interesting, as we do on every other Thursday night with the ProWorld interns. Week 5 was particularly interesting, because we got to decide what we wanted to learn and then have it translated into English. One of them was, “I will not marry you”, which is “Me re nnwar”. These phrases are always very helpful, but can sometimes be confusing. For example, “Me fi wo” means, “I miss you”, but cannot be mistaken with “Me fie wo” which means, “I want to deeply kiss you”, or, “Me afi” which is, “I’ve thrown up”. So, I’ve decided not to use these because if you know me, I tend to jumble my words.  

Holiday: There was holiday July 1^st, to celebrate Republic Day. Walking into town, I learned about the activities that Ghanaians do on their holiday. I also learned a little more about their relationships; how many Ghanaian men hesitate to take women out, because many women will buy a meal and then buy a whole other meal to take home with them. If the man does not pay for it, he is considered broke, and many women would not want to marry him. I was also able to teach many Ghanaians what Americans do on the 4^th of July, and what we celebrate. We had a party at ProWorld with “American” food, a full bowl of guacamole, and karaoke. None of us were used to all of the sugar provided.

Immigration Process: I had the lovely chance to go to the immigration office, since I’ll be staying here for over 60 days. All I had to do was bring 40 cedis and my passport, which they will hold in order to let me stay longer. This process is similar to what taxi drivers can do at police check points – just pay off the officer, either to get a special privilege or to get away with not having the proper paperwork. 

Religion: In Ghana, it seems that the only fear is God. If someone does something wrong, it is believed that karma will eventually come around to punish the person. This makes some conversations really interesting, especially when I do something wrong, because I know some individuals think that I will pay if I don’t repent. Some people that I have met have openly discussed their atheist beliefs with Ghanaians, who share their own views on their religion.

Beliefs: It is believed that the Gods convene on Wednesday to discuss, so nobody drums on this day to give them some quiet time. It is also a day to think about the well-being of the town, since the Gods will decide how to treat the community members for the rest of the week. No fishing happens on Tuesday, since this is the day that the Sea Gods come out for their own meeting, and the boats and nets would disturb them.  There is no farming on Fridays, because otherwise, the Gods will act unfavorably towards the crops. In the month of August, no funerals, drumming, or FuFu pounding occurs after 6pm, to allow the Gods to prepare for the many festivals that occur during September. It is also believed that spiders do not bite. I know this because I have woken up with 6 huge spider bites on my bottom and 4 on my legs, and got laughed at by anyone I told I told this to. They told me that they were mosquito bites. Also, one should only sleep on their side, not on their stomach or back, because a spirit could sit on them and not allow them to move or talk when they wake up. Another thing I got scolded for was not telling my new roommate, Joyce, about the area where the people find out your name, shake your hand, and put you under a spell. Many of these people also are known to own dwarfs. There are also some good people that know how to call dwarfs as well. Dwarfs as in little creatures one could call, give a command to, and which can go through a door without unlocking it.

TEACHING

I love talking to new people wherever I go and learning about their lives. Yet, talking is also a great opportunity to enlighten others on your knowledge. Sitting on long rides with strangers is my favorite time to find out what individuals think of America. Enlightening people on how many states there are and how America is a huge melting pot is one of my favorite topics. I never realized what that meant until I came here, and now that I am here, I no longer identify as a Michigander, only as an American.

I also had the opportunity to teach about what a haunted house is. If you think about the concept of a haunted house – something that I LOVE – it is really strange. We pay 20 dollars, or 40 cedis, to have people dress up in costumes, run around with dangerous tools, and try to scare us. The Ghanaians I was explaining this to could not stop laughing!

I love my time here and just counted the days… I only have 20 days left in Ghana. It’s been a good ride so far, but I have yet to run out of gas. In more ways than one.

Today you shall behave, as if this is the day you will be remembered!

Aba Lydia 

Charity vs. Change

Good Morning! Good Afternoon! Good Evening! 

Greeting everyone is one thing that I love most, because you can see how much it brightens an individual’s day and is something I will take home with me.

The weather is one thing that I will not miss, as I was told that I will stop sweating after 10 days. I am on week 7, and I am currently still dripping in sweat.  I really was able to notice how blazing hot it was when the fan in my broke, for almost a week.

I am putting food as the first section of my blog because I am an American. I’ve noticed that many Americans, including myself, view food as not just something to eat only when hungry, but also as something fun.

FOOD

The food really takes a lot of time getting used to, and honestly I cannot even say that I am used to it yet. I have talked a little about FuFu, which is the ball of dough made from cassava and plantains, which is served with soup and swallowed, not chewed. There is also banku, another dough ball, which is very starchy, and made with cassava and corn. Banku is very filling, and is served in huge portions, and just remember, nothing can be wasted. Actually, all of the food is really filling, until it’s not, and then you’re starving. A lot of the food does not agree with my stomach, because I’m not used to it, so I often find myself hungry because I am overly particular about the kind of food I will eat, like the other Americans here. Mostly for breakfast, I get bread, hot water, and some type of mix-in powder, like coffee or cocoa mix. My lunch is packed for me every day, and it switches between noodles, rice, “sandwiches”, and meat, but remember that it all is always is prepared with palm oil.

One very interesting experience I had with food was on one of the host family’s roof tops, where I celebrated my friend’s birthday with a home-cooked dinner prepared by her host mother. This was the first time I ever had gizzards, and they were pretty good.

Sometimes at work we have kenkey parties! Kenkey is a big ball of fermented corn that you eat with fish and hot red sauce made with palm oil and peppers. We take the kenkey and dip it into the sauce and take some fish, too. The fish are eaten with their heads still on and the bones still in; I have not been brave enough to try this.  

On the weekends, I always set aside time to learn how to make some of the traditional dishes. I cannot tell you how many groundnuts I have skinned, how many different types of nuts I have cooked, how much rice I have boiled, how many fish tails/heads/guts I have ripped off with my hands, or how many times I have stirred soup and pounded FuFu. This time is really special to me, because I get to learn how to cook and get to know my host sister better.

VILLAGE 

On Wednesday, June 26^th, I did not go to work. Instead, I had the opportunity to go to a village called Ayedwe that ProWorld decided we were going to partner with. This first visit was just to do introductions with ProWorld and the village and to tour the village and discover the needs that the elders felt were most important. As the five of us toured the village of 400 people, we were welcomed and given fresh coconut to drink. Once finished, they cut it open and gave us the white part. There are chiefs and co-chiefs, and after I offered my coconut to the co-chief, by saying, “Atow me,” or, “You’re invited,” he said that he would marry me. On our tour, we discovered that there were only two tin roofs in the entire village, while the rest were made out of straw, which serves as an extra challenge to the people during the rainy season. We discovered that they needed clean water, because their “bo-ho”, or clean water pump, is now spitting out clay particles. It was put in only 2 years ago. Palm oil is the biggest income generator for this community. We learned what else you can make from a palm tree. We got to see where the alcohol comes out of to make a sweet wine called “palm wine”, or if fermented for a few made, it makes “apatache,” a hard liquor. After drinking a few too many water sachets and too much coconut juice, I had the opportunity to see their bathroom, which is essentially a small, outdoor closet with rocks in the middle. The only reason I got to use this bathroom was because I was a guest. The entire village uses a bathroom that they created, which is a large, rectangular hole in the ground with pieces of plywood arranged like a ladder so that you put your feet on the wood, squat over the hole, and go. This is separated between men and women. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the women’s room was cleaner than the men’s.  

On Friday, July 12^th, we went back to the Ayedwe village. This time, 10 ProWorld interns came along to do the community assessment. We all split up and formed small groups of community members. My group consisted of 14 members and my translator. I started the discussion off with an ice breaker, where everyone said their age and did their favorite traditional dance. For an entire half an hour, I was smiling, and in a different world, dancing and singing. After that, we talked about the different challenges the community members were having. The challenges ranged from clean water, to play equipment for the kids, to the need for a school and electricity machines, to the need for more tin roofs. Then, we took a vote on what they believed to be the most crucial of the needs. We voted by placing dry beans on symbols that represented each need. The top choice was the need for a palm oil machine, followed by a community center, and the third was electricity and lights. After lunch, we discussed the solutions, which would empower them to take ownership, by providing resources themselves, as well as getting help from ProWorld. This is the difference between charity and change. To show his appreciation for my time and efforts, and because men just tend to like me because of my womanly physique, my group leader handed me a pineapple to take home with me. Thanks. The pineapple was covered in man-eating ants. Not only was I covered in ant bites, but I also had to try to explain to the rest of the group why I was the only one to receive a pineapple, which I couldn’t do.

WORK 

During work in the office, we went through all the child custody cases to figure out why the families split up, and how the split affects the children. Two cases that really stuck out to me were about the dad thinking that the mom was a witch. In both cases, they really emphasized the belief of spirits and voodoo that many Ghanaians have. Also, the second top reason for parents splitting up was that a spouse cheated, or that one suspected the other of being unfaithful.

Friday, the 28th, ended in a heart-warming way because we went to find the boy’s parents (the one found in the orphanage in Accra!!!) Emily, Lashae, Augustine, and I went to many schools looking for him. The only information we had to go off of was that the boy’s mom was called Mama P, that the boy was in class 3 (third grade), and that he used to stay with a seamstress called Mama Essi. After many of those we asked at the schools told us they had never heard of the boy, a little boy appeared saying that he knew of a seamstress named Mama Essi. He followed him as he led us through the rocky hills to get to her workshop. At first, Mama Essi did not know what we were talking about, so we decided to head back to the office, feeling defeated. But when we looked back, we saw Mama Essi running after us, waving her arms. She hurriedly  led us to an elderly lady sitting a little ways up a hill, in a room, crying and screaming the boy’s name. The tears of happiness from knowing that her grandchild was still alive filled me with overwhelming joy, and I even began to tear up a little myself.

Four more interns have joined us in the office. Their main focus is on NGOs in the Cape Coast Area. Before their arrival, Emily, Lasahe and I decided to decorate the office with inspiring quotes. These quotes brighten up the office and allow for an educational and motivational experience for all of the individuals coming into our workplace.

At work, we had the opportunity to go to a school to investigate a custody case of a boy. We also asked questions about education in Ghana in general, and whether there was any program that would help children who have extra financial needs at the school. To our surprise, we found that the boy was no longer at the school, and that the Headmaster did not know where or whether he went to school. A lot was discovered about the education system in Ghana, like how caning is frowned upon nowadays, yet still often happens to children who “deserve it”. Another interesting finding was that the students have to pay for everything to attend school: uniforms, admission, books, exams, and even teachers’ salaries. Presently, there are programs in place to help the children who have extra financial needs, which the government helps to provide.

On Friday the 5th, my coworkers and I got ready for our meeting, which was on the 10^th, by watching videos on how to inspire others. We wanted to learn how to inspire the Assembly Members to accept our proposed bye-law.

The following week was presentation week, which meant that we needed to get the folders, printed versions of the meeting agenda, the proposed bye-law, and the Day-Care Centre checklist to hand out, as well as getting the room arranged. We gave our presentation on the 10th, and the Assembly Members arrived on Ghana time. They were very pleased with the incentive that we offered them for handing in their reports to our office. We made sure to emphasize the “Why” aspect of the need for them to do inspections, the “How” to do it, and “What” they needed to do.

The President of the Deaf Persons Association comes into our office quite frequently. Since I can't read sign language except for the alphabet, he writes me little notes, which usually say something to the effect of, "You should come eat with me sometime, I'm going to marry you soon". The director of our Department, Madam Felicia, has already started planning our wedding. Congratulations, Mom! 

WEEKENDS

On Saturday the 29^th, I went with 10 interns to take an adventure to Busua, a beach town. We had an interesting adventure with a drop taxi on our way there, because no trip is really a trip unless you get lost a few times. We got lost and ended up in a city called Dick’s Cove. And Mom, don’t listen, but I went on a little questionable bridge over the water. When we finally got there, it was absolutely beautiful. We stayed in a hotel for 12 cedis per person, so 6 U.S. dollars a night! If you walked out the back door of the hotel, you were on the beach. Down the beach a little ways, there was a surf shop that was also a diner. At this diner, you sat outside on the beach and my friends and I ordered big burritos that were 10 cedis each. This is an enormous amount of money for food in Ghana, and it was not Chipotle by any means. But when hunger calls, you gotta answer it. That night, at the surf shop, there was a bonfire on the beach, so we sat there until dawn.

Sunday, I woke up and went for a walk on the beach right outside our hotel. I walked in town and saw a kind of quality of life that I had never encountered before. We also paid a man to catch and cook 4 lobsters for us for 15 cedis each, which is only 7 dollars per lobster. Yet, the most interesting part of the day was when Mike, a staff member with one arm, taught me how to surf. And, for all those wondering, yes, I did get up on a wave – over 10 times!

The following Saturday, the 6^th, the ProWorld interns and volunteers made a soccer net out of the empty water sachets. Water sachets are plastic bags full of water, which are commonly thrown on the floor once they’re empty, so we decided to recycle them by making a soccer net. The net will be given to the village that ProWorld has decided to partner with, Ayadwe, and I cannot wait to give it to them. That day, I went to make fabric, which was an interesting process. You take a stamp that you like, dip it in hot wax, press it onto the fabric as many times as you want to make a pattern, then you dye it the way you like with colors. This is called “batiking”.

That Sunday, I woke up at 5 in the morning because there was an unusually large amount of goats and chickens outside. I helped make breakfast before our church service. Church was very interesting that day, because Sister was the priest who gave the sermon and led all of the songs. I was so proud of her, because even though I didn’t understand a lot of it, all of the members of the church loved it. I did understand when she said, “God is joyful, so you should live your life happy”. I also got my new sister from California named Joyce that day. I went to pick her up and gave her an orientation and a tour of the house. There was a futbol game on TV, so it seemed like the whole town welcomed her, as you could hear cheering everywhere you went. Since futbol is such a big sport here, everyone was with their friends watching it.

Saturday the 13^th, I travelled to a village to see a rock shrine.  It took us two hours to get there, but unfortunately, we weren’t able to see the shrine. But being flexible is important, so we decided to take a tour of the small village of about 400 people at the base of the mountain. To my surprise, the village was very developed as it had a clinic, a corn mill, a palm nut machine, many different religions, and everyone spoke good English. During our tour, a crowd of people followed us. This would have been fine with me, but I think it disturbed the wedding that was going on, since weddings are day-long events in which the whole village is invited. It says a lot about the culture here, that we just rolled up into the village unannounced, yet people took the time out of their day to show us around and to make us feel comfortable.

I woke up at 5 am again that Sunday, this time being woken by my sister who was cleaning the entire house, so I started to get ready to go on a HIV/AIDS race. To start off the race, all the participants got on the basketball court to do stretches and, if you’ve learned anything about me from my posts, you might have already guessed that these stretches soon turned into dances. Everyone loved when the obronis did the dances. Then we formed a huge circle, which turned into a chain, and we did the cha-cha all the way to the starting line. At the end of the race, some speakers educated us about the importance of HIV/AIDS research, which gave me hope for the future

.

There are three answers to every problem, accept it, if you can’t accept it, change it, if you cant change it, let it go.

Love,

Aba Lydia