Relationships Matter... Take the Time

Hello from my new life.

I have become so use to life here that it almost feels taboo to be writing a blog, because I do not normally do it.

It takes a village to raise a child, and I have a large village at home in the United States that raised me. But it is really my homestay family and the neighborhood I’m in here in Ghana that helped me realize more about myself. 

FAMILY

I had the opportunity to go on a long walk with my brother Kofi, and my little brother Papa. During this walk, I got to see the hospitals where the doctors work and live, and I learned about all the different trees and plants where the natural resources grow. On this walk, I also had to pick up a snail that was the size of my head!

I call my homestay mom my sister, because she is very young and I talk to her like a talk a sister. She is pregnant with her second child, and deeply wishes for a girl. Sister is such a hard worker! She would be cooking everything from scratch, taking care of my little 2 year old brother, doing laundry (by hand), and cleaning the house all at the same time. Here I thought that my biological mother was the only wonder woman on earth, but it turns out there are two.

My brother Kofi is my homestay father, who is also very young. He wants to become a famous artist in R&B, or as it is known here, High Life. He shows me a lot about the culture here and really tries to make sure that I experience Ghanaian life.

Papa, my two-year-old brother, had malaria, and I got to take him to the doctor. My sister has dubbed him “Professor in Crying”, because he cannot go even a few minutes without crying. Sometimes, that is my wakeup call at 5 am. Despite the crying, he is very sweet, and makes my day when he curls up in bed to wake me, or gives me energy while playing futbal, which is allowed in the house. 

On Saturday the 29^th, I had to say goodbye to my roommate, Megan. I realized how much a person can influence your life in only 4 weeks, as she showed me how two people can truly care about each other. I can now say that I have a new sister to talk to and visit in Iowa.  

My family has a lot of friends that have little kids who come over to play, and I learned a new style of jump rope. It’s where two people loosely tie a rope around them to form a circle, with a little space between them. I learned songs in Fante that you sing while you jump over the rope for a few hours. The kids also taught me some of the Ghanaian dances that they learn in school. I am very grateful that I get to live in the neighborhood that I do, walking up the hill.

LEARNING

RIGHT/LEFT: Here a huge thing that I have not mentioned yet is that one must ALWAYS use their right hand to be respectful. If you are buying something, handing something to another person, eating, or anything, you must use your right hand. This is respectful, because you handle your items with your right and wipe your business with your left. Never wanting to be disrespectful, I had to learn and adapt to this very quickly.

TIME: Time is really an artificial construct, and it does not really exist here the way it does in America. In Ghana, there is only GMT (Ghanian Man Time), and everyone needs to be flexible while they are here. This laid back time works really well for me, but creates some interesting situations for those who need to always have the plan followed. My only concern is coming back to America and still thinking that I am on GMT. I had many of the interns and everyone in the office take the Myers Briggs test, and I thank the Leadership Camp and Steely Pegg for inspiring me to learn about the strengths and weaknesses of the people that I work with so that we can work well together. Interestingly enough, many people whom I work with that are J’s for judgment, which makes it interesting for me as a P (perceiver).

GMT stems from the strength and importance of relationships here. One would forgo being somewhere on time in order to catch up with an old friend, or even someone they are simply passing by. Time here seems to go by so slowly, but in a peaceful way. The other day, I just stopped to watch a bird eat a worm, which I can’t say I have ever done before. I also watched a group of 10 children playing together as they tried to blow a rubber duck from one end of a puddle to the other. This is also reflected in a certain ring-back tone, which says in little girl’s voice, “Look up at the sky. Big, beautiful, Ghana sky. Take a deep breath… and enjoy yourself. Take the time to call a friend.”

Language: Learning Fante is always interesting, as we do on every other Thursday night with the ProWorld interns. Week 5 was particularly interesting, because we got to decide what we wanted to learn and then have it translated into English. One of them was, “I will not marry you”, which is “Me re nnwar”. These phrases are always very helpful, but can sometimes be confusing. For example, “Me fi wo” means, “I miss you”, but cannot be mistaken with “Me fie wo” which means, “I want to deeply kiss you”, or, “Me afi” which is, “I’ve thrown up”. So, I’ve decided not to use these because if you know me, I tend to jumble my words.  

Holiday: There was holiday July 1^st, to celebrate Republic Day. Walking into town, I learned about the activities that Ghanaians do on their holiday. I also learned a little more about their relationships; how many Ghanaian men hesitate to take women out, because many women will buy a meal and then buy a whole other meal to take home with them. If the man does not pay for it, he is considered broke, and many women would not want to marry him. I was also able to teach many Ghanaians what Americans do on the 4^th of July, and what we celebrate. We had a party at ProWorld with “American” food, a full bowl of guacamole, and karaoke. None of us were used to all of the sugar provided.

Immigration Process: I had the lovely chance to go to the immigration office, since I’ll be staying here for over 60 days. All I had to do was bring 40 cedis and my passport, which they will hold in order to let me stay longer. This process is similar to what taxi drivers can do at police check points – just pay off the officer, either to get a special privilege or to get away with not having the proper paperwork. 

Religion: In Ghana, it seems that the only fear is God. If someone does something wrong, it is believed that karma will eventually come around to punish the person. This makes some conversations really interesting, especially when I do something wrong, because I know some individuals think that I will pay if I don’t repent. Some people that I have met have openly discussed their atheist beliefs with Ghanaians, who share their own views on their religion.

Beliefs: It is believed that the Gods convene on Wednesday to discuss, so nobody drums on this day to give them some quiet time. It is also a day to think about the well-being of the town, since the Gods will decide how to treat the community members for the rest of the week. No fishing happens on Tuesday, since this is the day that the Sea Gods come out for their own meeting, and the boats and nets would disturb them.  There is no farming on Fridays, because otherwise, the Gods will act unfavorably towards the crops. In the month of August, no funerals, drumming, or FuFu pounding occurs after 6pm, to allow the Gods to prepare for the many festivals that occur during September. It is also believed that spiders do not bite. I know this because I have woken up with 6 huge spider bites on my bottom and 4 on my legs, and got laughed at by anyone I told I told this to. They told me that they were mosquito bites. Also, one should only sleep on their side, not on their stomach or back, because a spirit could sit on them and not allow them to move or talk when they wake up. Another thing I got scolded for was not telling my new roommate, Joyce, about the area where the people find out your name, shake your hand, and put you under a spell. Many of these people also are known to own dwarfs. There are also some good people that know how to call dwarfs as well. Dwarfs as in little creatures one could call, give a command to, and which can go through a door without unlocking it.

TEACHING

I love talking to new people wherever I go and learning about their lives. Yet, talking is also a great opportunity to enlighten others on your knowledge. Sitting on long rides with strangers is my favorite time to find out what individuals think of America. Enlightening people on how many states there are and how America is a huge melting pot is one of my favorite topics. I never realized what that meant until I came here, and now that I am here, I no longer identify as a Michigander, only as an American.

I also had the opportunity to teach about what a haunted house is. If you think about the concept of a haunted house – something that I LOVE – it is really strange. We pay 20 dollars, or 40 cedis, to have people dress up in costumes, run around with dangerous tools, and try to scare us. The Ghanaians I was explaining this to could not stop laughing!

I love my time here and just counted the days… I only have 20 days left in Ghana. It’s been a good ride so far, but I have yet to run out of gas. In more ways than one.

Today you shall behave, as if this is the day you will be remembered!

Aba Lydia